Under-loved children of wealthy parents
for anybody not a secret that there are children who grow up without parents, orphaned children, children living in orphanages, boarding schools… All we know about them, we all feel sorry for them, some even try to help… These children is a tragedy of society, an open wound. We understand that they are deprived of parental warmth, care and love. Here everything is clear: deprived, because no parents. And every bystanders trying to help…
But there are other children children of rich parents, growing in abundance (sometimes in excess), with mom and dad, babysitters, mountains of toys and other pleasures. How they live? You say: chocolate!!! Best of all!! do Not jump to conclusions. It so happened that I work with such children and parents. The film, which opened my eyes, astonished and outraged.
What is for children of rich parents:
1. Image . “How dressed my child (definitely branded expensive stuff) that is able to do (reading in 3 years and 5 already knows 2 languages or not… simply put a genius or not) of my friends judge me. If everything matches the pattern – we cool!!!!”
2. Competition . My child needs to be smarter, stronger, better than other children, or at least to look like that. After all, I too strive to be smarter, stronger…. better than others!
3. My projection . I’ll give him everything that I lacked, what I dreamed of. Thus what the child wants not what is not taken into account, this won’t even ask for it.
4. Child – adult personality . full member of the family (high expectations). If the baby screaming is thrown on the floor and demands 355 machine, then is it really necessary! that 3-letnego child desires situational, such parents do not want to hear. “He is already the person!!”
5. Child – financial expenses . “I, as expected, sat on maternity leave to three years, and I think that gave him everything I could. Now I’m willing to pay to have my child given everything else (and that are not received I.)” Of course, we are not talking about the lack of love, attention, support and acceptance from parents. “My child this is even a lot!” (We’re together for an hour on weekdays and 3 hours on weekends. However, at this time I usually watch TV or go shopping, but that doesn’t count). And then, it is not visible, it will not compete. What can you see: he had low self-esteem, he is not interested to learn it for some reason in 4 g still doesn’t solve the examples and does not read himself? Not to mention the fact that “it’s verses is not talking and not singing songs! what am I paying money for?” Why child was 6 years knowledge of multiplication tables? – “Knowledge is never superfluous!!!” how else will I know what my money pays for.
6. The child is a burden . “I’m a busy man, I have absolutely no time. I earn to give their child the best of everything: food, clothes, toys… Love? Of course I love him, what are you talking about…!!!! Hello. ”
7. Child – irritant . “Go get whatever you want, just pipe down, I’m not terribly fond of (I have a headache, I watch TV, talk on the phone, drinking with my friends….).” Behind the specious intentions: “if the baby is going to cry – he would stress!! no, No – I will not let this happen!!!”
Well, how? Of course, there are parents who truly love their children, support them, take care of them. But, my God, how few of them!!!
In my practice, had this experience: I worked in the school, recruited children in class 1. Nothing special, the half hour interview. Now, of the 60 children, only two (!!!) parents supported. One mom at the end of the interview, kissed the child, and one father said the child, “You did good! All answered correctly!” And no emphasis on the faults and errors!!!
So what we want from children?! What generation you grow up?! What will we raise?
Want to know who is your child? Ask yourself one question: why I gave birth (decided to get) your child? Mind you, not why, and for what!!! So for what? Be with you (well, at least with me!) very honest!!
– So do all… (without a purpose)
– It so happened… (without a purpose)
– That the family was complete…
– To not feel flawed and defective.
What are the other options?
Tailored to your goals, what you will have a child? What you throw power, focus in education? Then you still have something you want, require from their children. If every parent in time I asked myself this question…
Many will say, after reading: “Well, no – it’s not about me. I your child love!”
And indeed it is. Mind you, I’m not even questioning the fact that almost all parents love their children and wish them the best! you just have to decide what is best?! In my practice there was a case. The results of the diagnosis the girl was six years revealed a low level of imagination. Mother came to me for clarification with tears in my eyes!
“This can’t be right!! my child Has a very developed imagination! She always lives in his imaginary world!”
And since my mom really sincerely concerned for his child, he wants the best!
How is it? Someone said that my child is not the best?! And although it is not voiced that way, I’ll go and sort out now with this bad man!!! Can we say that this mother loves her child or wish him bad? No. She pursues the greater good? Yes! But for a child it would be better to understand in more detail whether this child’s imagination or not? Now what you want to do with it?
It’s fine, just these good intentions still join the parent ambitions!