10 forbidden phrases in the child’s upbringing
There are two areas where many consider themselves experts, despite the lack of education: medicine and psychology. But try to fix the TV? Because there are much fewer parts. That’s it, that psychology and child rearing is not an easy thing and about how to raise psychologically strong baby, you can talk for hours. Today we will analyze as to do no harm, what phrases are considered taboo in the child’s upbringing.
1. Prophecy-threats – “behave, never married”, “come to a bad end, that’s for sure!”, “you’re gonna cry because if you do not listen to me”.
These phrases you predict in advance the child of failure. Remember that self-confident and liberated the children of those parents who is always praised. Such children are confident and appreciate yourself. If they fail to do something, they tend to seek the cause in itself, correct. Of course! After all, mom said he was the best of the best. And my mother wouldn’t lie.
– You educate him too harshly.
– When I asked him his name, he replied: “Vova Stop”.
2. You can’t do anything. Come on I myself.
Probably you wanted to say with the best intentions, tired of watching the baby for an hour tying shoelaces, for example. But you aren’t helping him, but rather more harm than good. Not only that, on Korn kill the desire to do that—or independently, and critically talk about what he can’t.
Such increased concern of parents program their child to fail. I slowly come to the opinion that he’s clumsy, awkward, loser. The child stops believing in themselves and doing everything reluctantly, because all of his endeavors were cut at the root.
“Almost always referring to the child, the adult starts his speech with the word impossible”. Cannot, cannot, cannot, still, you cannot, not before, not after, not ever. If an adult to give vent, he will be saying “cannot” from morning till night, without respite, like a parrot.”
The abundance of prohibitions from parents hinder personal growth, physical and mental development of the baby. Children’s activity – this implementation is very important for the child’s development needs in the exploration of space, the knowledge, the formation of the ideas about himself through the testing of their forces. Normal healthy child interested in what will happen if you eat first, and then to bend over upside down – will go where the food – up or down?
Excessive concern for security, the desire to “spread of straw, to a softer fall” ultimately harms the child. For example, the desire to hold him near them, a haunting accompaniment for any movements outside the home deprives the child the value of self discovery, habits rely only on themselves, skill wise to risk it.
4. “I don’t love you”
Nothing but fear and frustration, this phrase does not cause the baby: “I’m bad, I’m on my own”. Another variety: “If you will not obey, I will love you”. The child begins to think of love only as a reward for good behavior, so don’t expect anything to happen in your child’s life, he will come to you.
5. “Victor ’ s a good boy, you idiot!”
Children are very sensitive to comparisons. In the first place. they have an unhealthy rivalry with other “best” guys. And, secondly. they begin to experience jealousy, doubt, love parents, that mom and dad really love him, and no one with whom to compare.
6. “you’re fat (thin)!”, “you smell like the last bum”, “Nothing that is not beautiful, but clever”.
Who else, other than a child, so to speak? A husband, boss, friend, neighbor – anyone would be least offended by such treatment and demanded an apology. The child, too, am offended, feeling absolutely powerless. And, instead of changing something. starts to protest. Kids cry and fuss, teenagers throw “let go” and turn in on themselves. In General, anyway, and due impact – zero.
7. Personal insults – a fool, an infection, a quitter, weakling, etc.
All not as at people, man, punishment, slob, clumsy – such labels lower self-esteem, and the child is really starting to deliver. Another typical reaction is – a retaliatory attack. The child copies the behavior of parents, starting to criticize them: “You losers, don’t understand, your views are outdated”.
8. “You should do what I said, because I’m in charge here!”
Actually children should know and understand why they are doing something. As adults who don’t want to do something. not knowing what it should be. Please take the time to explain that the child could feel your desires and aspirations. If you do not know what something is, you probably should abandon this operation, because both you and your baby it is just useless. If you are not going to explain anything to her yet, even if you and he will obey, but will gladly step over the ban, when you are not around.
9. “Why did you only get four, instead of five?”
Also criticism, and although she is without comparison, it is still very painful for the child. Your son (daughter) begins to believe that he’s not good enough for their parents. It turns out that the good or ill child arrives – still not good. Better than the baby is, the higher requirements, and even a good result is not recognized for such, after all the parents of all the little. Perhaps we should encourage children’s efforts and help him become even better.
10. Don’t get upset over nothing
Perhaps it really is nonsense – think of it, the machine was not given, girlfriend t-shirt called stupid or a house out of blocks crumbled. But remember yourself at that age – wasn’t that serious and important issue? And if parents don’t understand that, then the next time and tell them no. Demonstrating contempt for the problems of the child, adults are at risk of losing his trust and further not to learn about others, it is not trivial problems.
Yes, all children are different – some are more sensitive to words than others. And only the parents know exactly what could hurt their child, and that he will not pay attention, or is it, on the contrary, it will spur. For example, one child, for example, the question: “And you’re weak to do this?” – will want to prove their worth, and the other will give up. Actually, in my opinion, important in education – it is the respect of their child, the recognition of his identity, the preservation of a sense of his own dignity.