Parents ‘ Divorce: how to help your child?
Of course, we are all adults and understand that love is. “Eternal love” — eternal love lives only in the pages of novels. It is impossible to be eternally in love, catch views of the second half, to miss you when I needed somebody you love. Love passes remain the habit, the habit of living together.
And well, when people stay close, understand each other, compromise – after all, family life consists of everyday problems, issues, events – love is and remains a family life.
However, sometimes new passion tears off the head of one of the spouses, the person again falls in love and can’t live without the second half.
“Love let go” — the old adage goes. Decent people get divorced, get divorced and remain friends. But, if a married couple ties the child – divorce bude not easy. Of course, legally, things will be much harder, but more importantly, for any loving parent, to help overcome mental trauma to the child.
But the mental trauma will undoubtedly be, and to neglect it does not. Almost an adult 15-17 years of age is difficult to accept the idea that your dad (most often it happens, apologize to the decent men) well, mom went to live with another aunt/uncle. And even more to tell this to a little child why daddy no longer live together, and will only come on Sundays. “NO! IT’S MY DAD!” — why the kid to share his DAD with someone else! Really?
To help overcome the situation of children and their single parents help psychologists. And we try to understand how to PROPERLY behave to parents to minimize “impact” on the child’s mind.
Sometimes unhappy marriage is much stronger traumatic for the child, imposing an imprint for life. So do not try to keep the family together, to torture yourself, for the children, to try to save the marriage. Because sensitive child sooner or later will understand the hostility between the parent and it can be even harder.
If parents really love children, they have many opportunities to mitigate the pain of his divorce, causing the children of tangible harm. In the divorce there is nothing deadly and illegal. The main thing to help recover the children, after the divorce of her parents and ex-spouses to get used to the idea that they are not together.
1. Try to maintain the child if he is unable to restrain their feelings. Let him feel your appreciation and love.
Not ashamed to admit that you too hard. Tell me, what do you hope to eventually get past this and back to normal standing.
2. Do not arrange fights for the senses. He wants to love and respect both parents For children are much easier to love a few parents (in the case of re-marriage), than to choose between this father and mother
3. Don’t say offensive things about each other in the presence of a child. For you it may be a relief to pour out emotions, in addition to unconsciously, you want to take revenge by setting the child against the “offender”. But children, it hurts. Do not succumb to temptation, keep yourself in hand.
4. Keep children a sense of love and respect for your former husband or wife. Let him know that does not commit this treachery towards you.
Children useful to meet regularly with the parent who does not live with them. They need constant communication, so as not to feel abandoned. Try as much as possible never to interfere with and cancel an appointment.
6. Do not be tempted to be “best” for children. Often parents not living with children, try to curry favour, from arranging visits, holidays, embossing children mode and cancelling boring duties. It is harmful for children who need discipline and order, and teaches them to expect from such meetings only gifts, instead of participating in their lives.
Research has shown that children come in a year after the divorce, if the parents managed to do decently.
Children become more responsible and study and responsibilities, more sociable and emotional.
2. Remember that your condition is very good for the baby. If you punish yourself and cannot get on with their lives, the child will be taken to accept the incident as a catastrophe and behave accordingly. If you feel that you did the right thing and chose the best proportion, it will take your divorce much easier.
3. Do not expect a quick recovery of the normal atmosphere in the house. Rebuilding after divorce occurs gradually.
4. Try not to talk about each other nasty things in front of children. Solve your problems when.
5. If you broke up, learn to communicate with each other as strangers: with courtesy and respect. The child you both need. Make an effort to learn how to be polite in front of the child.
6. It’s terrible when my mom says that if the child likes it then he must not love his father! Or a child should love her more than father!
7. Allow your child to love the father. It can’t be wrong! If you don’t love yourself, what was this child? Bite the bullet and endure!