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Teaching children to manage anger


Anger is one of the main emotions that from time to time experiencing every. From a very early age children learn to Express your anger in accordance with the behaviour that they see around. You as parents anger often seems undesirable emotion, and you think that it should be put down. However, if you teach children that anger is something bad and dangerous, thereby encourage them to suppress a very natural part of their human nature. Then the children learn either to ignore PA anger, or Express it in some indirect way that will not lead to anything good. As a result, children will be disastrously not prepared to, as adults, to properly Express my anger.

Of course, anger can be dangerous. Incorrect, inappropriate expression of anger is violence, abuse, vandalism. But it is important to note that anger nevertheless plays an important role — it allows if necessary to protect our well being and ourselves. Importantly, we should learn to Express your anger in a healthy civilized ways, while avoiding its negative sides.

How to recognize an approaching outburst

To help children to recognize the signs of an impending tantrum is a good way to start to teach them how to manage anger. The definition of these signs serves as a warning to children that they are angry and that their feelings are exacerbated. Signs of anger can be grouped into the following categories:

– physical;



– cognitive.

Physical signs

Physical signs is how our body reacts to anger. Help the children to identify the physical signs, talking about the changes happening in their body when they get angry. This, for example, increased heart rate, sweating or tightness in the abdomen or chest. On these grounds, the children will understand that the risk to give the anger to rise PA next level, and this will help them to take measures to get their behavior under control.

Behavioral signs

Behavioral signs — this is the behavior that we demonstrate when I’m angry. These signs are visible to others and serve as a warning sign that our anger tends to climax. People in anger, for example, clenching your fists start to paced the floor or ripped off by a piercing scream. When children begin to show behavioral signs of anger, parents should quickly intervene before behavior escalates and the children get into a fight.

The basis of anger are always other emotions. Anger is a secondary emotion, which means that we Express our anger, when really confused, scared, we are hurt or sad. One way to control anger is to find its true cause. Parents will help the child if you talk to them about their true feelings. Although the temptation is to yell PA child to stop a quarrel between brothers and sisters, it’s better if you indicate that understand how upset your child is due to the fact that the older sister, for example, doesn’t want to play with him. You can even tell your child that you are too upset. This helps the children to understand that although angry is normal, but the true emotion that they are experiencing is grief.

Cognitive features

Cognitive signs is what we say to ourselves when angry. The way a child interprets events that can affect the way he expresses his anger. For example, the child may perceive the review sisters about his new haircut as a harsh criticism, but PA really it was just a benign comment. Such episodes can be used to teach the child positive perspective when you interpret the situation. Teach your kids to think that was referring to the interlocutor and not to think that the sister said about the new haircut is disrespectful, why, of course, want to get angry and start to defend. In this case, an alternate idea could be the idea that my sister really like the new hairstyle and she noticed a change. Positive view of things — a tool that your children will use throughout their life to get along well with others. Teaching children to respond positively to the PA experiences, you are helping them not only to monitor your anger, but also to find ways at the same time to be happy.

Last comment regarding the definition of the expression of anger is: parents must be involved in the process, as should set their children an example of correct behavior. Not so easy to be calm, sensible and sensitive, when the house is all upside down. But you’ll feel better if you and your spouse work together to identify signs of anger in themselves and how you Express anger in front of the kids, the neighbors or the staff. Vigilantly watch your emotions — and you teach those of their child to control anger.

The control plan anger

Each child reacts to anger in their own way. Parents can teach children effective ways of expressing anger, creating a plan of controlling anger, structured to meet each child’s needs. The purpose of this plan — the learning strategies and techniques the expression of anger as an acceptable way. Once a child is faced with a new situation, the plan also will be changed, it is added to other strategies that have proven effective. It is important that you’ve had a lot of ideas, as not all strategies are universal. For example, a fight with a punching bag can be a great way to blow off steam at home, but will need another strategy, if the child is angry at a classmate. With your child working on developing effective ways to control anger, you show him that you are serious about his feelings.

Parents should also mention in terms of some basic rules regarding what conduct will not say goodbye, when a child becomes angry, and what will be the punishment.

Some examples of basic rules:

not to cause physical suffering to other people, that is not to fight, kicking, sciatica or restrict the physical liberty of another person;

not to spoil draw personal things, that is not to throw, not to fret and not to break anything;

no cussing, whether it is addressed to parents, relatives or friends.

Although you will probably want to include other rules, remember that children need some free space for expression. Although your main task — to teach the child to control anger, be careful and don’t repress it all anger. Here are some examples of how children can effectively deal with your anger.

Tips on how to conquer anger

Start with the development of the scale of anger, which will help the child be aware of his level of anger and will give the opportunity to watch him. Figure 1 on this scale means the absence of anger (complete peace), and the number 10 means the highest point of anger, which can lead to negative consequences. The numbers between 1 and 10 represent different levels of anger. Children and parents can use the scale to determine whether enhanced anger. Then ask the children different ways to cope with his anger before he reached the mark “10”. Sometimes just the question of where is now their level of anger to start to unravel the complex situation. Then invite the children to use any of the strategies listed below.

Children learn to manage anger

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