Parenting practices and the impact on children
Most often this question is raised by those parents who can’t find a common language with their child and want to influence him. Although, of course, some simply want to top up their knowledge for a better and proper upbringing of their children. This article will be useful for both.
Our website Love-911 decided to consider what you must to raise children and how to influence them so that it and we are good and useful and doesn’t break them, as individuals, what often happens when we try to influence them, and act incorrectly.
To do this you must understand: when you can impact on the child, and when he only done harm?
Let us consider an example.
You say that the child was dancing and he wants – on knitting, because he doesn’t like dancing and he loves knitting. It is defending its position, and your task is either to convince him that dancing he wants more and more useful. And indeed it is. Either accept that Your arguments it’s only Your desires, but not his.
The fact that parents often forget that the word parent is not a synonym for the words: master, commander, sir.
The parent is a friend, partner, older brother, teacher, boss.
I would like to elaborate on the word – head.
The chief – manages and provides direction, but only a good boss all subordinates do it with pleasure, since the chief has convinced each of them that it is beneficial to subordinate himself because: ‘ll have a good job, then, is the profit; the profit. means, higher wages, and so on. You understand that from the heads of the tyrants always leave, but if not go, then hate.
So Your behavior should be, primarily, respectful and if You demand something, then it only means that You are convinced of the correctness, and then control the process.
The difference is that it is necessary not to force, but to interest and then to convince.
A child should not You obey and fulfill all your desire or requirements, even objective.
You must understand that in order for the child did what You need, it is necessary to interest and then to convince. It is fundamentally different from words to make.
To convince means, using various arguments and methods of manipulation, to make the child want to do what You want.
In this you can even learn from them, because children are the best manipulators for their parents and each child, examining its parent, knows all his weaknesses and intuitively manipulates them, skillfully pressing on them, achieving what he wants.
And this is understandable, after all, this is their only way to let You do what you need them but You don’t need.
Please note, like a child asking for a toy:
Someone Pornichet and mom gives up, someone starts rolling on the floor, and my mom’s for sale, someone’s watching eyes “Puss in boots”. And then my mother also can not resist.
Before a child chose and applied the best for him the way he looked at You and will carry your knowledge throughout his life to interact with You.
Don’t You think, dear parents, and You have to start studying your child and influence not by power, but by his ability to convince him that it’s really good for him.
Of course, our behavior and manipulation are different from children, and we cry or roll on the floor is not:), but You have to use other methods of influence on their child.
Basic methods of influence, it
1. Own positive example of parents . You will never teach your child to put things into place if they themselves do not.
An excerpt from the letter: “I got up and went to Wake her daughter, told her to get up and dressed. She got up and started to look for something, I too was in the business, she came over and asked if I had seen her tights. I said, “no”, and began to scold her, saying that she’s all scattered again. As soon as I finished, I realized the absurdity of the situation, since, simultaneously with it, I went and looked for his socks all over the apartment, and continued to do after the search of tights for my daughter…”
2. Parents should arouse interest, motivation in the child . In order that the child wants what he wants, you need to interest him in this. The main way to do this is a game. If it comes to older children, there is the motive may be personal interests and preferences of the child.
3. Parents must convince the child . Here you can use various tools and activities in the preschool age – a conversation and play, show, story, demonstration of various illustrations, films, excursions.
Back to the belief of the child that he needs to dance. So use not just a talk and show a film with these dances, go to a dance class (tour), then to any presentation with these dances, swipe the conversation, then You can not just force, but will encourage the child to dance.
If all this fails, then it’s really not it.
4. Parents should use p ohalu and approval of the child . When a child does something good, you need to praise him, to show him that You see not only bad, but good, and really appreciate it. Also praise can be used in absentia.
For example: “You are such a good boy, eat soup”. Or: “I know that you’ll put your things. If you do it carefully, you will be simply the most well-mannered”.
5. Parents should be renovate and control . This is necessary after You have discussed a particular topic, come to a concrete decision. And now it’s Your task to control and to enforce it. It is necessary for a child to learn responsibility. If You are persuaded (not forced or pressured) him to dance, now demand that he do it and monitor the process.
Of course, we are mainly discussing preschool age, but all these techniques can be used in school, and even adolescence, although the game to use the technique already rare where possible.
If You are in the preschool years do not resort to beliefs, but mainly cause, thus not gaining the credibility of the child, but only cause fear, the teenager forced to do something it will be already impossible. If You have not learned how to convince a child in 5 years in one or another point of view, to convince him that in 15 years You will not succeed, even more so.
The situation in different families are formed in different ways, and sometimes it’s hard to get over himself and do the right thing, but if it can’t do adult, successful person, then how can you expect from children?
So, dear parents, we encourage You to learn to understand their children: study them, learn to convince them. Only then will You be able to protect their children from harm, because they will have to listen and hear, and bad not advise. If You have a problem you cannot solve, You can contact us in the service of love-911. And our experts, after examining Your situation that will give You detailed recommendations and tell you how to get out of the situation.