The Child was spoiled.
Many parents wonder: is it possible to spoil a baby at an early age? Sometimes, excessive love and care of the baby, can make him ordinary egoist.
And, Yes and no.
“Who indulges the whims of your son, he destroys the great Spirit of Chad.”
The Commandment Dazhdbog.
Here is a very shaky line of permissibility. But, the lack of attention and love can be more dangerous than the excess. Of course, the child there are desires and dreams and they should try to do, if it’s not just a whim. For example, if your daughter has long dreaming about the doll, she can make such a gift. However, if the child is throwing a tantrum and demands a toy is already self-indulgence.
How to distinguish an ordinary need of whim?
Scientists, psychologists, based on years of observation, managed to take the signs by which one can determine the degree needed.
Most often, spoiled children grow up, where a long line of “guardians” and “educators”.
Mother starts to scold the child for exorbitant prank, he indulges in “tears” and flees for protection to the grandmother. But, the child can turn grandma into an enemy, as soon as she raises it voice. The child gradually gets used to the idea that for him there is no prohibition in the family, you will surely find the person who will intercede for him. In the end, the child loses the benchmarks, feels impunity and becomes unmanageable.
There are ten signs, which can determine the degree of effeminacy child.
1. The child systematically occurs hysterical. This condition can occur spontaneously. Little children, do not know how to control their emotions. At first it is whims. Gradually, it all develops into other forms. First of all aggression. The child does not realize that their behavior is upsetting to others, suffering.
2. The child is constantly annoyed by everything that surrounds him. He quickly bored with any toy, any treat. He immediately demands a toy or thing, seen from another child.
3. The child does not want to clean up scattered toys. The older it is, the more stubborn it becomes. It is difficult for parents, in future, be forced to clean up after themselves and help around the house.
4. The child requires immediate submission. He doesn’t want to listen to either adults or children, requires only listened to it and sang whims.
5. The child puts the adults (especially parents) uncomfortable. Thus, he tries to assert himself or, to be treated as the “center of the universe.” If this happens regularly, you seriously tackle this problem. Yes, Yes! It is a problem.
6. The child does not share with anyone. If at an early age, the kid does not understand that the need to share with someone, in the future, this may pererastet in greed. If the parents time to pay attention, it will pass. If the child is a sissy, he will become greedy. In addition, you begin to take something from others.
7. The child should be persuaded. From an early age, it must be determined unquestioned authority figures (parents, guardian, grandmother, teacher). If the kid is asked to do something, he must not be capricious. If the child begins to get and have to persuade him, this is the first sign of them is spoiled.
8. Spoiled brat doesn’t know the word “no”. If he says it’s impossible, it starts to act up or becomes aggressive.
9. The child does not know how to be one. Usually, in about 3-4 years, the kid has an imagination, can play any game on their own. Sissy baby requires near him someone was, because can’t play one. The child constantly demands attention.
10.A child may obey an adult only after he is given something. At first, it seems normal that the baby is cranky until then, until he was given some candy or a toy. Subsequently, the child begins to speculate on this, and each time requires a bribe. A spoiled child will not do anything without stimulation toy, candy and even money.
Parents often don’t even notice that he had grown a little capricious. But the spoiling of – a disturbing symptom, which will interfere with the child into adulthood.
Signs of spoiled child
Spoiled child is considered violent, whiny and more or less demanding — or he needs our attention, or toys that we can buy him. In addition, gratitude is usually short and often suggests that he takes for granted what we consider a special assignment for him.
A spoiled child does not feel the boundaries of their desires. “I want!” – and to the point! He does not accept that the desire can be fulfilled a little later, or not satisfied at all. He needs right now! Instead of getting your child starts to act up – to scream, to cry, in short, continue to demand. Because the spoiled child in no way denied, he rarely learns to be independent.
Spoiled child relies on the parents and, as is typical in the absence of independence, childish and not able to come to terms with giving something up. He so desperately complains and cries over nothing, like a matter of life or death.
And it’s not self-will or arbitrariness baby: oppressive child may long to grumble, to complain, when something fails, but he is able himself to find pleasure in something else. A spoiled child does not have such flexibility and freedom. He’s not very picky. Besides stubborn and unable to compromise, and it’s psychologically immaturity.
The mistakes their parents, leading to the spoiled
Here are a few examples of how our parental behavior can lead to a spoiled child. The first and most important mistake made by parents is overprotection of the child. When a mother constantly entertains your child, when crying gets him on the right hand when the child is not in the spirit amuses and entertains him, only he would not cry.
In short, the child becomes the Central element of the family. For the sake of the child’s mother throws everything. It is also unacceptable to change their decision. For example, yesterday the child was allowed to play with electric kettle (of course, he prudently was unplugged from the wall socket). And today parents not to play, and the child reaches for the kettle. In response, he hears “No!” and begins to resent. How so? After yesterday it was possible!
The child will apply if grandparents to him with pleasure and in a playful way authorize that home is usually impossible. And if parents are not sufficiently firm in his decision, and houses the whims and tantrums, the child will succeed. Enough to give the child a couple of times, as he begins to feel that parents can be manipulated.
Why did the child start to spoil?
First, often spoiling their first child, simply because they do not know how to raise children. With the second child is usually easier, and parents mostly have learned from their mistakes.
Secondly, spoil the long-awaited children. Such a child for any reason did not appear on the light, and most of all, he is the only child in the family.
Thirdly, parents can treat the child from those considerations that the child should not know the word “no” or “impossible”. Supposedly children who know that they can get everything what you want, achieve much in life. Typically, these parents just go to the other extreme, and the child in the future sits down their necks.
Finally, a spoiled child can grow up in a family where there is no agreement in the methods of child rearing between parents. When, for example, the Pope forbids, and the mother lets the child begins to manipulate parents.
Re spoiled child requires will power, toughness and confidence in their decision. Always remember that not spoiled the child will bring nothing good in the future he will only make this harder. So what you do, it’s for his own good.